discoveries, gratitude, and manifestations... 🌙

No, I did not take this with my phone. I took a self-portrait with my Canon camera. I took this particular photo while I was out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon!

These past two months have been very reflective, introspective, and thought provoking to say the least. I am finally coming to peace with the fact that my life purposes are to be an artist (photographer, dancer, musician), spiritual guide, and working in holistic medicine. I have been studying numerous concepts, such as spiritual alchemy, numerology, being a Green Witch, the dark sides of American food culture, so on and so forth. I have meditating more frequently and holding myself accountable for saying aloud three things I am grateful for - no matter how happy or sad I am. I am learning that my negative traits and weaknesses are a part of the complex puzzle of who Kianna is, and there is no point in beating myself up over something that is merely Human Nature. I am trusting the The Divine and knowing that my path and process is unique to me. Though I still get a little irritated when certain people reach similar goals that I am working towards - such as starting a business, getting married, having kids, for example - I understand that my time is coming. When it comes to the romance department, I have a feeling my time is coming sooner rather than later! Anyways, let's move on to some updates from January and February!

Honestly speaking, January has been a busy, yet fruitful month for me. I have been fostering new relationships while deepening my current ones. As I am preparing for the next phase of my life, I am seeing things gradually falling into place, and I could not be more excited for what’s to come! Photography has become an important part of my life, and it is one of the main things that keeps me alive and breathing. Art in general does this for me. I have also deepened my relationships with my housemates, particularly Dani, as we both have big dreams and goals that we want to achieve. I admire her for her attitude towards social justice and her willingness to stand up for what she believes in. I can say the same thing for Barbara and Frachele at the Pauli Murray Center, as they work tirelessly to bare the fruits of the Pauli Murray Center, which is set to open in November 2021.

One major thing I have noticed in myself this month is being able to initiate conversations. Back in my school days, I was deathly afraid of initiating conversations, because I was bullied by my classmates. It was so bad to point of silence! However, when I was initiating conversations at the Watty Bowes Charity Event, I made friends with Debra Wulinger. We are so much alike in the ways we approach spirituality and our understanding of the Life Path. What stood out the most in our conversation was not what was said, but what was FELT. I felt a lot of loving and positive energy from her. I automatically got the sense that she would be my ‘soul sister’ from the way that she spoke and the energy that she emitted. Outside of JSC, I have been having heart-to-heart conversations with my close friends at Meredith College, and I know that we will be connected for a very long time. I appreciate their willingness to be honest and vulnerable with me, as I feel that these are two crucial factors in making any kind of relationship work. I will be returning to Meredith this Saturday to visit them, and I could not be any happier!

As for my placement at the Pauli Murray Center, my supervisor Barbara Lau and co-worker Frachele Scott both exemplify the meaning of collaboration. We had two big events in January: our final Think Tank and the first-ever Board Retreat at the River & Twines Hotel (we stayed in mini houses!) in Rocky Mount. These two events took a lot of time, patience, and money to come into fruition, and Barbara and Frachele worked diligently (almost militantly?) to make sure that everything was in place. Even during the events, they made sure things were organized as they had planned. At both of these events, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who take pride in the work that they do and that they are honest with each other about their opinions. What sets PMC apart from other organizations I have volunteered/worked for is the sense of community amongst the staff and the board. Everyone has such good chemistry and no one feels “left out” or unsure of their places, which I find very refreshing! This month is a little more lax than the previous months, which will allow for us to do deeper reflections on our past events!

Spiritually speaking, I have been noticing God’s voice within me as God guides me through this life path of mine. Given my numerous interests and callings, I know for a fact that my life will be full of changes, triumphs, failures, love, peace, struggles, and solidarity. I am firm believer that I am a spiritual being living in the physical world and that I am here on this Earth to learn and love as much as I possibly can. No wonder I have been called a “Little Old Woman” growing up (haha). I have been meditating 1-2 times a day here lately, as I am trying to do it on a consistent basis to develop a sequence. This has helped my anxiety disorder tremendously, as it is a very powerful coping technique. 

February has been a month of spiritual growth, realizations, and deepening relationships. For whatever reason, photography has been a part of all of these things that have happened to me throughout February. Among other things, this month has been very reflective, introspective, and thought provoking to say the least. I am finally coming to peace with the fact that my life purposes are to be an artist (photographer, dancer, musician), spiritual guide, and working in holistic medicine. I have been studying numerous concepts, such as spiritual alchemy, numerology, being a Green Witch, the dark sides of American food culture, so on and so forth. At the Pauli Murray Center, I have been reaching social media milestones with the help of my supervisors and my student workers. In the past six months since I have been working there, this month has seen the best growth in social media presence; and we are just getting started!

Photography has become a major part of my life these days. It seems that the world around me has become photogenic! I have even made friends in the thriving art community in Durham and I am excited to foster deep relationships with them. Great story. I was out working on my self-portrait series downtown today. While I was on my way to a coffee shop to take a break, a gentleman walked up to me and said, 

"Excuse me, are you a photographer?" 

I replied, "Yes!" 

He then asked me to take some shots of him, in which he says, "I will pay you $10 for your services." These were the photos I took on the spot. The Divine is giving me signs like this every day to show me that I am on the right path. I am truly blessed. 

As for my long time friendships, I have recently reconnected with my childhood friends from middle school. I have known all of them for at least 10 years! We started back talking to each other just like old times. I am noticing that I am bridging a gap between my old friendships and current friendships and the similarities that they all possess. Most of my closest friends are very smart, artistic, funny, spiritual, and reliable. As for my housemates, they are all unique in their own beautiful ways. During our retreat, we bonded during our community activity, and they are just amazing people who are always willing to grow.

Spiritually speaking, I have been noticing God and The Divine everywhere that I go! Knowing that The Divine is there to guide me through every step that I take brings a sense of peace and euphoria all at once. I have meditating more frequently and holding myself accountable for saying aloud three things I am grateful for - no matter how happy or sad I am. I am learning that my negative traits and weaknesses are a part of the complex puzzle of who Kianna is, and there is no point in beating myself up over something that is merely Human Nature. I am trusting the The Divine and knowing that my path and process is unique to me. Though I still get a little irritated when certain people reach similar goals that I am working towards - such as starting a business, getting married, having kids, for example - I understand that my time is coming. Physical life is a journey - not a race; and by the end of this life, the possessions that I own cannot come with me. It will remain here on this Earth. I guess you can say that I am wiring myself to be mindful of this sentiment. 

End of Blog Song, "Cruisin'" by D'Angelo!